What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
