That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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