when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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