I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
