highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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