Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
