You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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