Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
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