why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
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