thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
