Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
