the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
