I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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