That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
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