No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Randomize
