Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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