Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Randomize
