Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
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