Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
