did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
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