I would go down on you faster than GM stock
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
im on a boat
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