i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Randomize
