i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I don't deserve a penis
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
