He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
