my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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