im gay
i know
yea but for you.
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
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