Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
