there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
BRING THE BAGELS
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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