you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
the day after is always just damage control
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
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