Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
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