My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
