So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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