I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
