Too much gin, very little bucket
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
I need to calm my uterus...
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
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