obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize
