I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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