I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
