So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Randomize
