loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
