Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
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