The maid of honor just puked.
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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