You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
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