Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Randomize
