Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
