I feel great
I just peed on a car
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
