the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Randomize
