I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
