where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
