i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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