How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
