I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
