Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
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